.: the feeling of hope i gain when i see flowers emerging despite the elements. is it finally spring???

.: standing in the shower for my few moments alone, listening to the faint sounds of my children who squeal, chase, and play.

.: the way that H never took any practice steps when she started walking. she simply stood up and ran.

.: dinner made from leftover french bread and some eggs being happily scarfed down with no complaints.

.: G's constant desire to *help* especially when i'm trying to hurry. reminds me that i need to slow down and let someone help me once in awhile, maybe it's just to help them feel happy, maybe i really do need the help.

.: playdates gone bad that remind me of how good and sweet and wonderful my children truly are.

.: finding letters and pictures drawn with a shaky hand, proof that F is finally writing!

.: going to the health food store and being told, "well, it looks like you've got your hands full!" it's very true, i do have my hands full, sometimes achingly full. but my hands are full, my arms are full, and my heart is full.

.: having good friends i share motherhood with.
.: acting as E's fairy, leaving notes in her jar at night. it gives me a chance to simply praise her for her good deeds without flipping into mom mode and asking unpleasant questions. when i pretend to be her *rosetta* i can love on her and uplift her in ways that i don't allow myself to as a her mama. (note to self: love my children freely)

.: the trust a child gives you when they clamor into your arms, willingly pleading for you to throw them again, throw them higher! they never ask you to catch, they simply know that you'll be there.

some of you may be done already, but if you're struggling to come up with some ideas for that certain someone... try etsy. etsy is a site that anyone can sell their handmade items, and there are some seriously GREAT things on there. like my pendants and scarves. ;-D i love etsy because i know that i'm supporting real people and their art.

here's a listing of some of my very faves:

ordinary magic photography: gorgeous photography

cottage road designs: aprons and journals (my favorite is the pepper hostess apron)

pocket full of posies: little girl hair clips

kelly rae: mixed media artist, and there's a great sale going on right now! (my three girls)

wendy cook: children's stuffed snake, way too cute.

everyday is a holiday: everything cupcake.

susan schwake: mixed media originals and prints, the cutest birds in the world

boho girl: photography

gypsy wings: TWILIGHT inspired jewelry and prints (taken at the beach at la push!)

the little room: brass pendants and jewelry along with aprons

mati rose: mixed media artist: prints, magnets, and onesies, oh my!

second sister: jewelry and accessories

thea coughlin: photography

happy girl: mixed media artist selling prints, originals, and notecards

bellawish: pendants and jewels

daisies: photography

swirly girl: mixed media artist selling her book, prints, and even originals

dancing mermaid: magic rocks, journaling kits, and mixed media art

neena beana: mixed media ORIGINALS

have i forgotten anyone? ;-D
happy surfing.
and if you decide to get something,
let them know how much i love them!

this week i've thought a lot about which direction to take my weekly gratitude list and i keep on coming back to myself. so at the risk of sounding narcisstic, but more realizing that we each have so much to be thankful for:

i am grateful for my body.

my eyes. it doesn't matter how much weight i gain or lose, what color my hair is, or what time of year it is; i think my eyes are beautiful. i'm grateful for long, thick eyelashes. i remember when i was 5 years old i had this frou-frou lace dress that i wore to church. it was yellow with layers upon layers of white and yellow lace. i would lift the lace on the sleeves up to my face and then bat my eyes at strangers. i felt so beautiful.

my eyes; this time to see with. i'm grateful that through my contacts or glasses i can see leaves and pine needles from a distance. i can read the words on a page. i can recognize those that i love as they walk towards me. i can photograph the beauty of the world.

my muffin top. strange as it may be, when i look at my stretched belly i'm reminded of my four happy pregnancies, my four healthy babies, my ability to conceive. this year i have learned many, many lessons from wonderful women about the pains of infertility. my soul has ached for my friends and i've learned just how lucky i am to have that muffin top.

my voice, i'm grateful for the gift of song, for speech, for laughter.

my hands; with them i soothe a child's tears, paint a canvas, touch and fold paper, crochet scarves and monsters. my hands reach out and hug, caressing the neck and hair of my babies. for the ability to write real letters.

my legs and feet; to carry me wherever i want to go. to run 3.5 miles last night, stopping only because the gym closed. to wear happy socks and fishnets.

my spirit; the ability to discern and read others, to feel their spirits, and recognize their souls. for intuition and direction in my life granting warnings or caution when needed and bringing tears to my eyes for the sake of joy and happiness.

i am filled with gratitude today. i wish you very happiest of holidays, for memory filled and made days, for love wherever you are. xoxoxo

i am so grateful for:

1) my husband: when i first met him i knew he was a seeker, a seeker of truth, a seeker of light. he never ceases to thrill me with new thoughts or ideas. he listens to me and doesn't always agree; he is not a yes man, but a man of truth and honor. he challenges me to be better than i am, to reach higher, to be my best. we have never had a moment of *the silent treatment.* he is passionate and opinionated, silly and boisterous.

2) my E: her giggle: infectious. her voice: mature and soothing. her thoughts: precocious. her manner: responsible and organized. for so many years i honestly felt that she hated me. as she grew older and learned of how i felt that the love scale was unbalanced (she was a complete and total daddy's girl), she makes a HUGE effort to show her love for me now. kisses and cards, snuggles and gifts, help with chores and lots of one on one time. it's like she's read the 5 love languages and showers me with all five.

3) my boy: playful, imaginative, driven. i remember when he was little and would throw these massive temper tantrums lasting hours, we knew then that he would be able to list sticktuitiveness on his resume someday. as much as E is my mini me, F is the mini me of the hubs. very serious and stoic, nearly pious in the way he sees things. but also extremely active and playful. being a boy of few words, we listen when he speaks.

4) my G: she holds the key to every persons heart. she reaches out and loves the unlovable. she climbs into the laps of strangers, both worrying me and melting my heart. i can't be mad at her, no matter what she's done to my house. she's changed all the rules of the house, i've become a much more relaxed and happy mom... when i'm not pulling my hair out. i find wadded up pieces of toilet paper in my contact case, but i have to see them as gifts from her.

5) my baby: oye vay! she has become quite the trouble maker lately. but still, through all of the hitting, biting, pinching, and scratching... she is my little bird. she never leaves my side for long. when i sit on the floor she cuddles into my lap, scooting away to pick up a toy, and then returning to show me it. she is fiercely protective of me. i am certainly loved by her.

6) my motha and brotha: times have been hard, we've been through a lot. but in the end i have a mother that loves me and a hardworking brother (and wifey!) that love me too. having my mom closer has been a huge blessing, she has in times past dropped everything in order to take care of my kids when i was sick, or given us the night off and babysat my kids. she does my dishes (even if she doesn't load my dishwasher the way i like! ;-D) my brother and his wife are a beautiful couple who are so great with my kids. my kids just can't get enough of them!

7) my in-laws: hands down i have the best in-laws in the entire world. they love me for me, they encourage my growth, they are easy to be around, loving, and helpful. they do the most selfless things for the good of MY family. in the beginning i felt a little judged or misunderstood, but i have since come to the realization that it was actually ME being judgemental and misunderstanding them. we laugh, a lot. but we're also ok just being.

i love my dear family.