awesome Gretchen has been capturing 12 pictures of her daily life on the twelfth day of every month for two years.  i watched last year, convinced it was too cumbersome but amazed at how much they showed. this year, i'm taking the leap.  it's tough, i'll say that. remembering to do it for one, but also actually documenting the whole day with only a tiny bit of warm light proved to really challenge me.  i'm determined to capture more of the beauty in the everyday and this is a great way to get me to do it.  so i'm in.

1) a little macro pomegranate love.  up close they looked liked a totally different life form.

2) morning yoga with G set my day up correctly.  her favorite poses are table top, as seen, and (apricot) tree.

3) in my reading pile: women's health, TIME, the female brain, and the art of non-conformity.

4) more pom love, the colors and curves seduce me every time.

5) afternoon pick up

6) snuggly book time in my bed, for another view of our time click here.

7) nothing starts a tea-party faster than a bowl of poms.

8) freshly folded laundry

9) finally getting the tree taken down.

10) homework

11) daily sweeping pile

12) F refusing to look at me with the camera when we got home, lil stinker.

wanna play along?  start whenever you want. come over to amy's for the full report.

first, i HAVE to thank YOU for your kind words and thoughts.  i'm telling you, i could FEEL it.  THANK YOU.

monday morning we woke up early, dressed quickly, ate a good breakfast and then sat by the phone until we could call and make sure we were still on for school.  disappointment set in when the office explained that they weren't ready for us, classrooms had yet to be decided.  with backpacks on the kids began to cry.  but all was not lost.  i couldn't help but see that day as a gift, a chance to properly celebrate our last day as homeschoolers.  when i wrote my last post i was sad and feeling like i hadn't said goodbye in the way i wanted to.  so with a free day to do just as we pleased, no obligations or time constraints, that's a gift!  so we shifted gears and went to the children's museum instead.

as soon as we walk in, their eyes bulge out of their heads, trying to take everything in at once, and then... they're off! running from thing to thing, trying everything at least once: acting as a construction crew, firemen, chefs, grocery shopping and working, farming, water and bubble play, and rock-climbing.  with nowhere to be other than RIGHT there, in that moment, they played until they couldn't play anymore.  and that was just the first floor.  next we went upstairs and made a still-motion movie, acted out a play, anchored newscasts, and built built built.  there were no tantrums, no accidents, just happy happy happy play. they honestly could have stayed for even longer, but after 4 hours of intense playing they were hungry.

off to the cookie store!  the kids were a jumble of, "i want a pink one! i want chocolate!  i want mangos, blueberries, cherries!"  the girl at the counter suggested they look at the cool bottle-cap magnets to distract them so i could actually order.  as they ran off she says to me, "awww, they are so cute!  and they are FRIENDS! you can tell that they really love each other and being together."  i just about burst into tears on the spot.  really, we are so lucky to have one another.  they have a firm foundation of love and kindness to move forward on.  these past few years have been hard, but oh-so-worth-it.

we continued on with our YES day picking up two kinds of drive-thru to appease little palates, chewing gum obnoxiously, playing games, and eating spaghetti for dinner.  tucked into their beds, they slept peacefully, and woke ready for their next chapter.

tuesday was the first real day of school and they passed with flying colors.  i met their teachers and felt totally peaceful leaving my children in their capable hands.  and bonus points go for recognizing the principal from my yoga classes.  as i dropped off lunch money in the office they assured me that my babies were safe and that they would watch out for them, they invited me to call if i was stressing, all was understood. so i went home.  and played with my other babies.  i began worrying about lunch time, wondering if they'd know what to do, if they'd eat enough food.  the closer it got to pick-up time, the more unravelled i became.  but their happy smiles and non-stop stories calmed me right down.  verdict? they LOVE it.

again, i have to thank you for the outpouring of calls, texts, comments, prayers, and awesome vibes... it really has made such a difference, i could feel the ocean of kindness swelling around us.

it's probably not that big of a deal to anyone else, but my kids are headed to their first day of public school tomorrow.  i've always said that we would let them do whatever schooling they wanted, however F has been asking to go to school for over a year now and i just wasn't ready.  all things considered, we're all ready now.  i think. 

family members have immediately yipped with joy when i told them the news, "finally!  it will be so much better for them, and you."  and yet for me, it brings up a lot of feelings of inadequacy.  taking them to school feels like, "jenica, you have failed as a home educator. let the professionals handle things from here on out."  it was their choice to go, mostly so that they can make friends, but i have a hard time not taking it personally.  i want the very best for them, i want them to feel loved, i want them to feel intelligent, i want them to feel challenged and excited to learn.  it's hard to compete with one-on-one attention when it comes to these things.  but i also know that i can't do it all.  i don't feel like i'm nourishing my children the way i had intended too.  it's chaos here, mostly a happy chaos, but chaos all the same.

i also don't like to be wrong, or even seen as wrong. so i fret about how people will look at me, either the public schoolers or home schoolers i know.  i realize that this shouldn't matter, but i still fight those feelings.  i'm choosing to look at it that i wasn't wrong to home school for a time, i felt very strongly about it. and now we can choose to do something different for a season.  if it doesn't float their boat, we'll reevaluate at the end of the semester.  and if they love it, great, i simply want them to be happy and seen.

when we went in to register them, i was completely filled with peace.  even when they refused to test the kids for proper grade placement, i still just felt peace, i know it will all work out.  but that doesn't stop me from feeling the night-before-school-starts insomnia.  their laundry is done, clothes laid out, backpacks ready and waiting. tomorrow we start a new chapter.  so please, if you don't mind, send out your happiest and kindest vibes to E and F and maybe even me that we'll all be able to move forward with joy and acceptance.

see that child with the dimpled tukas?
well, she's decided to cook. and by cook i mean make real meals, and chop veggies, and arrange delectable desserts. she's a literal ratatouille with a knack and ability well beyond her years.
and the first three times she did it i wanted to ring her neck.

the first time was a lazy sunday afternoon, the hubs and i were cuddled up tuning out the noises of the children, and in an effort to distract G from our moment i suggested to my three year old,
"go make dinner," and then i laughed.
she squealed and ran upstairs. after a moment i heard a chair scrape across the floor, i heard pots and pans clanking, the refrigerator slam shut, and i realized, "she's really making dinner!"

for her it was as if she'd been waiting for the invitation and she couldn't wait to take over the kitchen.

when i scrambed up the stairs i found her at the stove top stirring pasta roni in a small saucepan. she had looked at the illustrated directions on the back of the box and had put in butter, 2 sippy cups worth of water and a sippy cup of soy milk. all that held her back was her fear of the gas stove (which i thank my lucky stars for every day).

at first i was frustrated that she had wasted a box of food, but when i realized that she had added everything properly we decided to cook it up. and we ate it for dinner. and it was good.

but of course the story doesn't end there. the next night she brought a tray of vegetables to me:
she had chopped cucumbers, red peppers, mushrooms and carrots with a giant chefs knife. scaring me! the next day she chopped carrots, dipped them in brownie mix and brown sugar, and my husband baked them, much to her delight.

a week later i was on the phone, 10 feet from the kitchen when she brought me a box of cook-and-serve butterscotch pudding i gently told her to wait a few moments until i got off the phone.
but there's no stopping her. she dumped the package into a fry pan, mixed in brown sugar, almonds, water, and a tidge of crisco and then announced that she was ready for me to cook it.
again, i was frustrated! more food wasted! but after calming down, i added some milk and cooked that baby up. the only way i can describe it is, creme brulee. it was GOOD.

and i was left in astonishment. one of the things that i pray for daily is to be aware of what their talents are so that i can nourish and strengthen the areas that they already show efficacy. and here is a girl who shows not just interest in cooking, but actual skill. and while it is a source of frustration for me in these early days of her experimenting, how great a pay off would it be if she was willing and able to cook dinner for us when she's five?

we have made a pinkie promise: every time i cook, she gets to cook with me, but she can't cook by herself any more. here's to hoping she'll keep that promise.

we're featured today at green hour.
so grab a hammock
and maybe a few books
and pile in together for some
serious family time.