heart:might:mind:strength
July 19, 2010 at 2:01 PM 
lately john and i have been discussing love languages again. we both took the test and we were both pretty surprised to find what has changed over the years. the first time we took the test (about 6 years ago) words of affirmation was my number one. when john saw that he laughed and said, "that's the stupidest thing i've ever seen!" which of course made me dissolve into tears. haha. now, the tables have turned. it's now his highest rated love language followed so closely by touch.
when i went into this whole marriage thing nearly a decade ago i thought we had it all figured out. love was easy. love swirled alll around us. love was tangible in every act. then entered a parade of moves, children, years, trials, blessings... and we sit in a very different place. love is an act. love is a movement, beyond ourselves sometimes. it's something thought out and moved towards. and yet, from my memory, i love my husband more fully now then i did when we married. his love for me has better taught me to love myself. the love we have for our children unites us as i see his smile, his order, his eyes smiling back at me through them. it's not in grandiouse sonnets or in dozens of flowers, it's now shown in folded laundry, dinner steaming from the oven, midnight grocery runs, holding hands under the table, emails of simple adoration, stolen dates, time snuggled on the couch... now love is truly tangible in every act.
looking at my test results now: words of affirmation and acts of service match perfectly, just two points below that time and touch weigh in equally... way below that, gifts. when john saw how close all four of them are for me he commented, "When you think about it, all of yours, except the “gifts” are pretty close. Which could mean that you’re happy with whatever you get (except gifts)??"
i responded, "i am happy with gifts too. i'm just a big fan of love, in general. ;-D i love to be worshipped and adored which in turn, makes me want to worship and adore others."
his response made me cry, "I guess “worship” says it all—heart, might, mind, and strength."
i do think i feel deeply, probably more than most people, probably more than is necessary or required or even considered normal. but it's through this that i live and love to my greatest potential, with my whole heart:might:mind:strength.
Reader Comments (6)
this was beautiful. thank you for sharing so openly. i have a deep soul connection with my love and often feel a little shy to share it with others. maybe im keeping it to myself, but sometimes i feel afraid of alienating other people with talking about it, especially those who aren't fortunate enough to have the same. anyway. this was gorgeous. off to take the quiz and forward it to drew.
Yes, Jenica, you are probably one of the most loving, non-judgmental, passionate people I know. And of coure I love you for it.
Speaking of us being on the same wavelength...guess what book I just finished reading?
We took the test, but I'm hesitant about mine. Adam's hit the nail right on the head and I'm already seeing a huge difference in him. (And, interestingly, the things I now know that he needs so much are things that, of course, are the hardest for me and go against my nature.). But mine? The little bits he's tried to do those ones for me, there hasn't been any big WOW or any huge change. I'm just...here. Loving, but feeling empty myself. I have no idea how to change that.
i <3 you, jenica!! this post is so beautiful. bare and sincere and... beautiful.
thank you.
Said brilliantly...love is an act. it's like everything in life. if you don't do it everyday, you loose it.
you're lucky to have each other.
As I've seen my marriage take unexpected twists and turns during the last year or so, I can completely attest that LOVE IS AN ACT.
So beautifully written, chicky.