pendulum
January 6, 2010 at 12:11 PM 
home education is a giant pendulum of thought and desire.
there are days that it swings away from me and i find myself screaming, "i don't want to do this anymore. i don't want to be a mama, it's too hard! let's just put them all in school and forget this dream!" (i may or may not be slightly dramatic while screaming)
then there are those love-soaked-blissed-out-mama moments when the pendulum swings back and everything clicks so perfectly into place that i can't help but laugh or even cry for sheer joy and the beauty of the moment.
the other night i was making stew. G pushed the stool towards the stove and began directing the proper techniques of stew making. knowing that the kids love to peel, i instead handed her a peeler and a carrot and she giggled her way over to the garbage, very carefully slicing and peeling passed the point of normalcy straight down to the middle of the carrot. but it makes no matter, stew is stew and the more hands the merrier. F bounced in, grabbed a peeler and set out in his meticulous form of work. the two of them happily gabbed while peeling and i set to work on chopping onions. E joined in as the carrots wrapped up and we moved on to potatoes. there was no screaming, no pushing, despite only having two peelers for 3 children. they simply worked together, taking turns with the peeler and watching me chop. i felt the love rising in my heart as my stress melted away. i turned to them and asked, "who wants to sing a s..." but before i could even finish my question the three of them burst into song, "angels we have heard on h(e)igh(t)!" and my heart burst into a million happy little pieces.
when it works, it's phenomenal. when it doesn't, i'm learning to give myself permission to have a day where arts and crafts, popcorn and movies, hot cocoa and snow tromping are the only things on the agenda.
as the pendulum swings, i'm learning to stand in the middle and enjoy both moments for what they are.
pics taken by the hubs, so lucky to share my camera with such a fantastic photographer
Reader Comments (2)
So very, very true.. the ebb and flow of homeschooling.. but worth it, I think!
Motherhood in general is a pendulum! Days like yesterday where everything is wrong, balanced by the days where you adore them and it is all clockwork and you go to bed feeling that all is right in the world...only to wake up to a day where you want to sell them to the gypsies...that is my pendulum right now. I love that you homeschool...I don't have the guts.