tagged 
celebrations, family, kids
celebrations, family, kids box o' donuts
May 29, 2009 at 1:50 AM 
i had begun to question my ability to parent, at least kindly. after one too many moments of grout playin', toilet swirlin', mess makin', parent frustratin' days i had simply had enough. i threw in that dirty towel and said, "that's it! you guys are the parents! i'm just a kid."
of course, this didn't work out as intended. immediatly e asked, "so does this mean i get to just check my email all day and drive to the store?" oye, that's a sucker punch.
they worked, they toiled, but most of the effort fell on the shoulders of dear e who felt very... well, put out. and i realized that my problem was not fulfilling my motherly duties, it was a deep feeling that we each needed to be validated. i wanted the kids to understand for a moment just how frustrating life can be as a mother. prior to that the chillin's had wanted me as their mama to see how exciting, shiny, and new this great, messy world of ours is. i simply wasn't listening. why would they want to listen to someone who wouldn't even pay them the same respect?
so instead of continuing to rile myself up about garbage being emptied and flushed down the toilet... i washed my hands and went and bought a big box of donuts. then i designed an interview for the three older kids (while the babe napped) and i took each of them, one at a time, to a park and got to know them better. the chocolate milk ran steady, faces grew dirty, and the questions were answered quite liberally.
some of my favorite answers:
some of my favorite answers:E: what is your favorite thing about yourself? "i like everything about myself"
what are you most afraid of? "my imagination"
F: what do you want to be when you grow up? "a fiwe-fightew, i wiww be so bwave."
what is your favorite food? "donuts, chocowate miwk, candy, chocowate... i have a sweet tooth."
G: what is your favorite word, "bu-tempo!" and what does that mean? "i don't knoooowww!"
what do you want to be when you grow up? "a mom! with 8, 9, 10, 11 kids!" while holding up 5 fingers.
and guess what? after taking those few precious moments with them...i was ready to be mama again.
Reader Comments (13)
well done! next time I'm feeling that way I'm going to try this. what a great way to get over it!
loves.
Yes, yes, yes, I've been there, I am there. This made me get all teary because yup, I need to do this. I'm sitting here, in front of my computer, because the boys were fighting and whiny and there's laundry to do and endless dishes and I'm frustrated.
I'd love to know what all was on your interview list. I need to do it with my kids.
And also- LOVE the photos. I can just feel their personalities shining through.
you are my hero.
i'm just sayin'.
thanks for sharing every bit of this.
I am getting great parenting tips from you. You are a wonderful mama, full of creativity and love for those adorable kids; it shows in all your posts.
Wonderful idea! those ?s/answers will be fun to look back on too.
lovely
oh jenica~
this is so very inspiring.
in fact, i think i am going to make up my own little interview for my kiddos.
we have been struggling the past several days. or has it been weeks?
we need this.
i needed this tonight.
thank you for being exactly who you are.
so much love...
you are such an amazing little kid! oopss...mama...heehee!!
Kellen loves coming to your site
for the music...and then we dance....so you are part of our everyday doings..
¿ë ylove you!!!!! and this is kellen saying jumping and loving your musichxx -pjkhtuvcf89hfyuiuxx
Oh jeez. I just cried. I love this. I'm going to have to steal the interview idea. You are such an inspiration to all the rest of us strugglin' mamas out here.
I took the boys to see "Up" yesterday and loved it so much. It's little message, the balloons and colors and that chubby scout's face. And the love. So much love. It reminded me of your blog. Everything good and hard in the world, all rolled into one and presented to us. A gift. You are.
xoxo
is it possible that i love you? cuz i do sweet mama, i totally heart you.
xo, a
Jenica, what a sweet post. I loved reading-- gives such insight into their little personalities. How smart and bright and CUTE they are! Good job momma!
I'm glad you found us! I can't believe you have 4 kids! Wow. I'm behind :) I find myself struggling with the same things (I think all mom's do) each day when I pray I try to remember to ask for help to be in each moment of the day. If I can allow myself to be present with my children instead of thinking about everything else at the same time, we all are a lot happier. Just like you found in the park- that's cool, thanks for sharing :)