remember last week when i said she only had one more week? well, apparently i'm a liar, or my teacher was. because i'm still working, painstakingly, on this. and i'm so torn. this is the longest i've ever worked on one piece and the things i'm learning through this process are simply mind-blowing. it's extremely satisfying to stand back after class and realize that i just painted her; i painted a REAL looking person! every week is making a difference. what other things can i paint now?

but my other feeling in this, is that i'm tired. i'm just ready for it to be over, i'm ready to call it done already. and these feelings lead me to think that i'm cheating myself, cheating my art, cheating those that support me. how many other paintings have i given up on before they were as good as they could have been... simply because i was bored and ready to move on? when is enough enough?

i see it through my whole creative life. currently i only take 3 hours a WEEK to paint, so of course i'm not getting anywhere very quickly. but when, pretell, can i fit more time in? at what point do i begin neglecting other important aspects in my life in order to get ahead in art? how do i find balance when i feel like i'm spinning plates, each equally important to me... except i feel like i'm doing it more like the host on this one.

i know i'm not alone in this, we're all trying to find balance in our lives: between work, school, family, art, religion and play... it can be daunting for all of us. i keep promising myself that this next week is going to be better: i'm going to get caught up with house stuff, i'm going to work out more often, i'm going to play more freely and wildly with my children, i'm going to make friends, i'm going to reach new levels... but when the end of the week comes, i often feel like i've made no progress, i'm just treading water.

and yet when i see her:

i know i'm getting somewhere.

slow and steady wins the race.