below the surface
January 21, 2009 at 9:27 PM 
last week i was typing and e was helping out with putting dishes away. suddenly she was beside me with an earnest question, "how big is space?" we talked about the unmeasurableness that space is, how there is no limit, no way to completely comprehend it. space is as big as our spirits are old.
she smiled coyly and went back to the dishes.
a few days later she was trying to decide whether to go to a play with the hubs and me or to go and play at her cousin's house. she was getting very anxious, her weight shifting, tears in her eyes as she exclaimed, "if i go to auntie's i might tell her my secrets." fear boiled in me as i asked what secrets she had to tell. with no hesitation she screamed out, "i'm afraid of space!!!"
as i held her and comforted her i also expressed my fear of space. it's just so big, i can't take it all in. and yet the wonder and the beauty of our relationship with space is astounding.
so what dear readers is below your surface? what terrifies and simultaneously thrills you?
Reader Comments (10)
Afraid of space- that is awesome!
Running in the dark freaks me out in a good way. Whether it is early AM or at night, my adrenaline gets going. But at the same time it is so quiet and serene that I love it. My usual snails pace is faster too, so I can't complain about that!
the ocean at night. freaks me out and it pulls me in. its like the space thing, so vast and unable to measure. during the day, i do not fear the man eating creatures, but at night, i am certain they are all around me.
i did a night dive once, and its one of those things that
made it to my top 5 thrills of my life. beautiful it was, and yet i was always looking over my shoulder.
i love this story about your sweet girl.
i so understand.
xo
jen gray
Poor girl. For me, it's what lies ahead that scares and thrills me.
Beautiful, beautiful photo. My daughter is often scared of new concepts I've tried to explain to her, too, especially things that she can't wrap her mind around.
I'm going have to think on the fear thing...I have a lot of fears, but not many that fascinate me as well.
I suppose the idea that I won't be around forever and the world just moved on...
Kids say the most amazing things :)
It's funny you should ask this question. Just last night, as I rocked my daughter in the middle of the night, I listened to her quiet breathing, smelled her still-baby-sweet scent, and felt her chubby little hand still gripping mine, I felt this wave of emotion that I could only identify as complete ecstasy that she was mine, and complete fear that she was mine. This whole 'motherhood ride'... its so wonderful and so terrifying and certainly the biggest thrill i've had. ever.
Even though space is infinately larger, the vastness, depth, mystery and power of the ocean kind of freaks me out. I went on a cruise once, which I LOVED. But I stayed far away from the railing the whole time! Watching the scenes from Cast Away when Tom Hanks is in the middle of the ocean even makes me nervous!
I'm terrified of being in the woods at night - the night sounds I hear when I go camping fuel my imagination until I've woven a wilderness tale that keeps me, and by association Dave & the dog awake.
At the same time, knowing that there's a special part of nature that comes alive in the dark fascinates me, as does the sound of coyotes howling in the night (as long as they're far away!). It makes me feel connected to something much, much bigger.
If only I could keep my imagination in check! :)
life :) as in really living it and now just putting in time :)
uh huh.
loved this post ... loved. my initial reaction was life and then i thought i needed to be more specific and went away and came back three times now, my gut still screams out life, the living of life fully and completely ... so yes, it scares me and thrills me all at the same beautiful time :) xo
motherhood.