home
September 16, 2008 at 2:04 PM 
where i feel completely different than before i left
and yet,
i've never felt more normal
or more myself.
i truly don't have adequate words to describe all that occured here. but i will say that i came home able to "own" being an artist. the term has always terrified me before. i've always created, i've always played, but i never felt like i had walked through all of the steps in order to attain the title ARTIST. i can now say with confidence that i am an artist, a painter, a photographer. i am. and i am messy.
when someone becomes a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant or the likes, you go through a certain process: classes, tests, and then a certificate is handed to you in the end stating that you are now a DOCTOR. there is nothing like this for artists, there is simply ownership of skill. there is no accreditation to follow, no real tests to prove worthy on. some take classes or have degrees and some are simply born with raw talent. the point is this, if you love it, then do it. own up to your trade, don't be afraid to be something fantastic. take your first baby step today.
squam was a complete love fest. i've never been surrounded by so many like minded souls. i've never felt so completely encouraged and respected. these women are now my angels, my tribe, my sisters spread out across all of north america. i found that the whole experience was much more of a reunion than an introduction. we were all connected instantly, all 120 of us.
my highlights of the trip:
- bonfire with the amazing, funny, and soulful jonatha brooke. i think she's even better in person. she absolutely sparkles. one evening i was hanging out with about 10 women in her cabin, exchanging stories and laughing. we asked her how rock stars party, she pulled down her reading glasses and replied, "knitting just like i am right now in airports across the world."
- talking with lizzie on thursday night. we had absolutely NOTHING in common, nothing that would have brought the two of us together, and yet we both thirsted to know everything about the other person.
- my tribe. my girls. my strength. i love you all. there was no drama, no real weirdness. just love. my cabinmates were also incredible. i haven't found all of your blogs yet though!
- the people i met on my flights, i had some of the best unexpected conversations. i actually really did end up LOVING traveling solo. i had time to draw and journal and process all that i had just been through.
- and many, many more. the entire experience far exceeded my expectations. thanks go to elizabeth for creating the most enchanting experience possible.
i also feel incredibly blessed that my family rallied here without me. everyone did very well and my family was so supportive of my trip. they loved my kids like they were their own. i simply can't thank them enough for giving me this opportunity.
check out my flickr to see the whole set of pictures.
Reader Comments (18)
oh my gosh honey, it sounds so magical, so right really ... as i said on kristen's blog, i should feel jealous but i don't, i feel really happy for you all and i only hope that someday i too will get to have this sort of experience.
i loved all your photos ~ you beautiful, oh so adorable, photographer, artist, writer. xo
i miss you bad, sister. xo
what an amazing experience! I love your art-keep it coming!
Welcome home!!
I can't wait to hear more about your experience! I might have to come bug you!
jenica,
you are warm, warm, sweet, alive, woman.
i LOVED watching your tribe come together - lots of smiles observed. really was touching for me :)
big hugs....
xo
Glad you had an amazing time!
Jenica,
You said it so right and I'm so glad I was one of your cabinmates. Funnily enough it was the one thing I was NOT ever nervous about before I left, but started freaking out about as I drove closer to Squam. But when I stepped through the door into that magical little cabin it just felt like "home". thanks for sharing and for all the laughs. I told you I'd quit blurking on blogs so here I am! See you here, and next year at Squam. Maybe I'll have my own blog by then. Amy
Those words and photos are beautiful Jenica! Thank you. And thank you for your laughter, warmth and smiles. The Havenwood gals really lucked out. :)
xox
(See? If Amy can stop blurking so can I!)
welcome back little bird.
i am so excited to see what this causes long term.
Jenica,
So wonderful to meet you. Thank you for all the insights you shared in our workshop. I'd love to chat more sometime.
Susan
xo
yay Jenica!!!
so loved meeting you
you radiate, glow and sparkle
xox - eb.
meeting you, hearing your story, sharing meals with you, feeling as though i had known you for a long time...all of this was a true highlight for me.
loved reading this...i'm missing you and wishing we could meet for another art weekend soon...
blessings,
liz
Hey Sweetie,
Sooo jealous!! :-) wanted to be with you and K so much!!! but...all in time?! :-)
sounds like you...magical! arty! exciting! hilerious! serious! fun! amazing! precious!
i love you xx
i wasn't even there and i can feel the magic through everyone's blogs and photos.
your words brought tears to my eyes...gave me a little more confidence to start owning my creative self...
it is hard.
but this life is now...it won't happen again.
sigh.
next time. i am so there.
I'm so glad we painted together, ate together, shared together. You are one of the bright, sparkly spots of my time at Sqaum!
I was so glad when you said you were going. It sounded like the perfect place for someone as wonderful as you. And there is no one more deserving of having a supportive village back home. Welcome back.
this made me weepy.
i too loved seeing your tribe come together. i enjoyed observing those deep, free, easy connections and i adore each and every one of you.
jenica...thank you for that moment by the fireplace. i will never ever forget how you came over when i was sitting there alone, not wanting to admit i felt lonely and you just tapped into that and gave me love and i learned more of you and you of me and well...it was just special to me.
love you.
ps. oh and i have been listening to the playlist on your blog while i create tonight...so you're with me in spirit.
pss. you SO are an A R T I S T in every sense of the word. xo