i've got these four amazing friends, my best friends really. each so different from one another, each so unique in their perspectives on life, bringing out a different me when i'm around each of them.

there is one that i feel like i can have the very best discussions with. she helps me to think things out rationally, helping me to get past the emotional barriers i keep myself safe with. she continually pushes me to be a better person. when we're together we spend the majority of our time cleaning, doing projects, artwork, or learning new things. she is a serious thinker with major ambitions in life; when i'm with her i can't help but feel the same way.

another friend of mine is both a player and a silent companion. he's extremely active and i have a hard time keeping up with him sometimes, but he's patient with me. he does things with the intent of doing it with someone, not to win or get ahead, but for the thrill of the game.he's also the type that i'm completely comfortable being quiet with, i don't feel like i have to fill every moment with chatter. the first time i met him i looked into his eyes and realized that i had been reunited with a soul friend, i recognized him immediately. our spirits are deeply connected, we know and understand one another on an intuitive level.

my third friend is just so much fun. we could play and laugh all day long. i think that out of all of my friends, we probably are the most similar in our personalities, or maybe she's just who i want to be the most like. she's independent and crazy; not afraid to make a mess or bust a move. she's free and fun, attractive and beautiful, confident and discerning.she's the type of person that everyone loves to be around. she helps me to relax, to forget about my worries, to not let the little things get to me; to live in this moment, right here, right now.

and lastly i have this friend that i truly don't deserve. she loves me so throughly that i can't help but return that love, even when it's not as deep as she gives to me. she is the most loyal and jubilent person. i sit here crying as i write this, because i truly don't believe that i deserve to know someone so great. she loves me just the way that i am, despite all of my weaknesses. she loves me even when i'm my most unloveable self. she never fails to greet me with a smile and the reassurance that she loves me... even though i was late. she brightens up every corner of my life. she must see the inner good in me that i can't see, but she helps me to feel strength from within.

and now my connundrum. these four friends never leave my side, they are all with me wherever i go. i can't even go to the bathroom without one of them talking right beside me. it feels like whenever one of them needs one thing from me, the other three all need something else at the exact same moment. i feel torn in four seperate directions.
i love them all so intensely, and yet how can i ever have enough love for all of them?
how can i satisfy all of their wants and needs while still maintaining the intimacy we each crave?
how can i remember all of their strengths and how much i love each of them seperately, when they seem to be assaulting me on all sides?
how do i satisfy my own needs without disappointing them?
and how do i do all of this and maintain a crazy, sexy, spontaneous, and beautiful relationship with my other bestie?
how?