exhibition two
October 4, 2008 at 11:11 PM 
it was a week of painting for me. the above painting was a gift for my brother and his dear wife. i loved it and am happy that it has a good home. when i got it out to take it to them my dear G says, "OH NO! es wuined!!!" i giggled and said, "no, it's supposed to look like this, i like it like this." to which she replied, "no, no, i do not wike it." to each her own.i also competed in another plein air competition in provo, utah on thursday. i went up above the provo temple to my SIL family's house. they live directly above it with a nice balcony/deck, providing a different twist on the tradition view found so often in mormon art. i had so much fun painting and was so completely pleased with what i produced. the first and third pics i took afterwards to give you an idea of what i was working with in real life.
i leaned more traditional on the first and a little more modern messy on the second, using only my trusted palette knife.
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and then friday came, the night of the exhibit opening, and my inner gremlins attacked. as i walked through the exhibit all i wanted to do was rip my paintings off the wall and run away. i didn't even want to go and ask the gallery director how long he would be keeping my paintings. i was embarrassed and frustrated. my paintings stuck out, they didn't match the style or execution of any of the others. and i had priced mine several hundred dollars higher than the others. despite how good i had felt about my accomplishments before, my confidence was washed down the toilet during those few moments stuck inside the poorly lit gallery.
and then friday came, the night of the exhibit opening, and my inner gremlins attacked. as i walked through the exhibit all i wanted to do was rip my paintings off the wall and run away. i didn't even want to go and ask the gallery director how long he would be keeping my paintings. i was embarrassed and frustrated. my paintings stuck out, they didn't match the style or execution of any of the others. and i had priced mine several hundred dollars higher than the others. despite how good i had felt about my accomplishments before, my confidence was washed down the toilet during those few moments stuck inside the poorly lit gallery.
i walked outside and let the kids run circles on the sidewalk out front while i collected the nerve to go back in and ask about the exhibition. as my emotions swirled we watched as a street performer twirled a flaming baton outside the tattoo parlor.
i did finally go back in and found that the exhibit actually runs through the end of this month, so those that are local can go and see them at terra nova. they're tucked in a corner above the copy machine.on the drive home i mustered a question to my hubs through trembling lips, "i'm really not that good am i?" his reply was sweet and honest, "you are good, i think you just need to enter contests that showcase more work like yours." i know that he's right, but for a girl who doesn't even know what my style is for sure... it's hard to know which direction to go in.
Reader Comments (17)
You really ARE that good, keep doing what you do, and doing what you love. In my personal opinion, if it doesn't look like everyone else's that means you are doing something right!
xoxoxo
you are SO good, i'm sorry that your gremlins decided to say otherwise.
you are super brave to put yourself out there and i know you will find your place.
i love that you've jumped right in - my art supplies are STILL in the backpack i brought to squam.
i'm really proud of you - i see you and believe.
i love you. xo
Squash those gremlins, lovely lady. Listen to your true self, not them.
i'm so freakin' proud of you
the adversary will always try to steal your joy and your learning process by making you feel like what you are trying to accomplish is not on the same level and the other artists, mothers, wives, painters etc who have ALREADY PAID THE PRICE OF THE FIRST PART OF THEIR learning curve.
thou shalt not compare thine self to others.
your great.
oh baby-we all feel this way about our work when we compare it to others-and it is just wrong and silly. Your work is an expression of you. You are delightful, powerful and beautiful. I agree with your husband. Find shows where you will feel more at home.
You are wonderful!
XOXOI
love and miss you darling
Go Goddess!!! Go Goddess!!! Go Goddess!!!
Keep on sharing and showing your perspective. The world needs it.
Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana
Your husband gives good advice and sounds like a sweetie. Maybe nothing in life is about being good or bad, better or worse. Maybe it's all about finding our place: the place that feels right for us and fits our current style. I like the sound of that....
ditto.
and Kristen is right on the money, YOU are putting yourself out there when so many of us are not. good, bad, who's really to say? just keep on painting and doing what you love and you will be happy.
(but I think they're good)
xo
I'm inspired by how you are pursuing your art and making it a part of your life.
Please continue nurturing that artistic voice of yours; it deserves to be heard.
xo
I'm so proud of you for putting yourself out there. I can't imagine how much gut that would have taken - considering the feelings you just described. But you stuck with it!! And I'm sure you learned a lot. I just think it's really cool that you're diving into something that you're passionate about.
I think that art cannot be qualified. Passion just is. Keep rockin it with the pallette brush. As for style...you've got it in spades!
that top one makes me swoon ... SWOON !! you are good and you are passionate and you are doing and at the end of the day THAT is what is important.
i remember when i was working on my english degree, there i was an aspiring writer being forced to critique and rip apart some of the most amazing works of literature, words that made my heart gasp. during my entire degree and for years later, i couldn't write a word, not one creative word. who was i too write when such amazing pieces of literature were criticised? sigh.
we are our worst critics and who is to say what is good and what isn't? so long as your work touches one person on some level, it is phenomenally beautiful. especially if that one person is you.
i really like the energy in your paintings which comes through even in the photograph ~ you are talented. and your husband sounds fabulous :)
I was wondering...why don't you just close your eyes and paint...don't paint off pictures..
If i think of you...
i see mixed media paintings...for me you are not a specific piece of art..you are EVERYTHING...kiddies...mommy...
woman!...artist! here...there...everything!
I love and admire how boldly you stepped back into your art. I'm so proud of you! You absolutely shine!
I sense this new self-confidence in what you know you can do...
Love you Gorgeous! Just do it! Continue and try everything until do the paintings you love doing the most! xx
my brave and beautiful friend,
you are talented beyond words.
you are learning as you go and in time the path will be revealed.
trust your heart.
sending you love a plenty from the bottom of mine.
xo
I'm so proud of you! You are so brave and wonderful. I read this post to my husband, I knew he could appreciate it. He has felt the same way at times. The important thing is to keep going! You are fantastic!!