tagged 
celebrations, emotions, family, just me, kids
celebrations, emotions, family, just me, kids present paralysis
January 3, 2008 at 5:55 PM 
i've been drunk on the holidays this year. i wish that i had alcohol to blame for it, but i don't drink!!! so instead i've been the grumpy goose; spilling too much personal information. i've had a massive holiday hang-over caused by over-indulgence in holiday spirit, chocolate, traditions, and some family i can't stand. i've just been grateful for the lovely friends and family that have been willing to pull my hair back and point me in the right direction as i seem to involuntarily vomit my feelings on a wide array of subjects.
the whole month of december was a massive whirlwind. there were some of the greatest moments:
.:going to temple square with my family
.:making snowflakes
.:singing carols with the kids
.:shopping with e for gifts for her siblings
.:the joyful feeling that comes when you find the *perfect* gift for someone.
and there were also the frustrations of the season:
.:feeling crunched on time, *we have to have fun RIGHT NOW!!!*
.:trying to get and keep my house clean for visitors
.:spending time with people i don't like because *it's the holidays, so put aside any bad feelings you have.*
.:finding the right presents and wrapping them before the blessed day
i think that some of my frustration stems from the fact that i was extremely poor growing up, we had VERY small christmas's. not that this was a bad thing in and of itself. when i say poor, i mean that our christmas budget was subject to less than $25 per person. but it was never a disappointment to me. we played games, we sang carols, we decorated, we ate yummy food; the holiday was very magical for me. going back to school after the break was a downer as people compared what they got with one another. but all in all, it was fine. every year we were the recipients of gifts left on our porches, sometimes with tags that said, "do you believe in santa now?" i'm sure that it was much more stressful for my parents, but as a child i felt loved and i felt the magic of christmas. 
now... now we spend around $25 per gift and we buy at least 5 gifts per child. i'm so afraid of my children feeling like they didn't get what they wanted that i bombard them with gifts. PLUS all of the gifts that they get from other relatives, that also spend too much money. it's not that i'm not grateful for all that we receive now, or the fact that the hub's job provides so kindly for us; it's just that i'm feeling like we're losing the real reason for the season.
this year i made us open one gift at a time, with a break after each set of openings. that way the kids got to play with each gift and enjoy it, instead of getting what we like to call *present paralysis.* that's what happens to kids after they've ripped open every present under the tree and they sit, wide-eyed, eyes darting from one present to another, trying in vain to decide which present they should play with first.
maybe i am a total grinch, but next year things are going to change! last year we donated about a 1/3 of the christmas money to send a cow, which is a great charity that provides livestock for families in africa, providing income to that family. we sent fruit trees that year, according to what the kids picked out. for whatever reason i had decided that we would only do that every other year. i think it teaches the kids to look outside their own needs. and the kids were really excited about it. next year, next year (shaking head side to side).
i also want to celebrate christmas according to different cultural traditions. so we could have tamales for dinner, crack open a pinata, sing carols in spanish... you get the jist.
what traditions do you have to keep yourself from over-indulging?
Reader Comments (6)
I, too, am trying to recover from all the frivolity.
We were always the recipients of Santa's Elves, and doing a sub-for-santa on our own this year, I've decided that it's going to be a tradition in our family. Especially seeing things in this neighborhood. I just found out that one of the kids who has been coming to YM/YW with a friend actually lives in a motel with his dead-beat dad. He doesn't even have a coat. My heart is sick.
I also just found out about a chairty called Samaritan's Purse that does the same thing - sending livestock to families in third world countries. That's a great idea for next year!
your great that you even think about it. it is insane to read about, and be part of some people's lives, who don't bat an eye at spending spending and spending with a total absence of conversation regarding the condecention.
keep thinking...
we only do one present each ~ now its usually something quite wonderful and extravagant, something that the person has been wanting forever so that makes it fun. otherwise, we fill our stockings with books and handmade art and stuff, poems and bits of love and there is always one family present under the tree as well ~ usually a boardgame or something that brings us together in laughter. its nice because it never feels like too much.
we do a charity every year too ~ it feels right ...
xox
We have been spoiled rotten this year and with so many thank you's to hand out to all we hope we didn't miss anyone. We are planning on doing a return and make it so everyone can feel the way we have.. We have talked so often about this very thing... So we came up with a plan... Santa brings ONE gift.... That's it.. ONE... We put some fun things in their stockings and then there are the gifts from mom and dad and each sibling to each other... There are Realitve gifts and this year secret santa gifts too..... We will be better next year though... Usually the gift from mom and dad is something we made and put time into..This year we finished a room in the basement as a play room..... But when I was growing up mom and dad set the timer and we got to open one present every hour.... With 5 kids two adults and lots of new things it stretched Christmas out the whole day... I had a love/hate relationship with this because I was so excited to see everything but loved how much it made the whole Day...... We hope your doing well....
Hi Sweetie,
you have to do what feels right for you...and the things you want your family and especially your little ones, to continue doing when they grow up...
For me...xmas is about being together...everyone doing what they want to do..but still being together...the xmas present thingy is nice...but we buy each other any time something when we feel like it...I think 1 present is great!
Love the idea of Daisie of one present that can bring the family together! That sounds like a tradition to continue...
something else that Bohogirl did which her German family does...is doing lantern walking...I just love this! each family member gets a lantern, you light them and then the whole family goes for a walk...in the neighbourhood...wherever...this is something I would love to install in our family!
Hope you are doing great! Wish I could 'kidnap' you for a day (or a few!) and just spoil you...to be a mommy of 4 little ones...you must crave some 'me-time'...and just imagine someone wanting to spoil YOU! xx
this year part of each child's present from my parents was money that we had to spend on someone who needs help. then on christmas day we all got together and shared what we chose to do. it's a great way to make service at the forefront of christmas, and also forces you to step away from the malls and the unnecessary toys to find something that somebody really, truly needs.