i am feeling so.... pregnant
June 7, 2007 at 1:00 AM that's the only way i can sum it up. the good is great and the bad is horrible. i'm now 30 1/2 weeks so of course people are starting up with, "hold in there darling, any day now right?" no, actually... i have 2 MONTHS left people!
i think that i'm feeling especially discouraged because i had my midwife appt today and i gained 4 more pounds. which wouldn't be a big deal, except that it's only been 2 weeks since my last check up. my midwife is loving and gentle; she reminds me that she's not worried considering i only gained 3 pounds in my first 20 weeks. but then i remind her that in the past 10 weeks i've gained 18! i am now 1 pound more than i was when i delivered each E & F... and i still have 8 weeks left.
then i came home and changed into sleep pants and went to w@lmart... where i could be bloated and yucky like everyone else. but i caught a profile view of myself in the mirror and wanted to cry. i'm HUGE. it's in my face, my arse, my legs, and yes... even my belly. and it's not swelling. it's just plain fat. it's no wonder people keep asking how soon i'm due, or if maybe the ultrasound tech and the midwife are wrong and maybe there are really TWO little humans in there.
and then during the quiet moments in my life i'll feel her jump and squirm and dance within me.
and i feel so selfish.
Reader Comments (7)
aaaah, i feel you mama. all your feelings are so normal, and you're not alone. these last couple months are going to be tough, esp. with the heat, but you're going to make it and you're going to be great. really great. and it's SO going to be worth it in the end. you get to hold that little new babe of yours, and no matter how squishy you are, that babe is going to love you.
ps- i gained 60 pounds with each of my babies, so i REALLY understand.
Oh, Miss Jenica.
I understand, really I do. Would it make you feel better if I told you I am just getting fatter for no reason? No reason other than all the soda, and late night yummy stuff I eat...
You look lovely, and 8 weeks is not all that long.
I have to tell you I totally laughed at what you said about Wal-Mart.
xoxox
oh mama.....i so hear yah. been there done that several times, and to boot, I do not lose the weight after...deeelightful.
i think you look terrific. try just to relax, and enjoy the last few weeks....
Oh dear, dear LORD. Do you know how much weight I gained with Miss Faith? 105 POUNDS!!! And I'm only 5 feet tall!!! GAH!!!
But I would gain double that for her all over again in the blink of an eye.. It will be so worth it. It's just a short bit of time, and it will just melt away.
That being said - I really haven't let anyone see the pictures of me right before I delivered because everyone who's seen them has made fun of me!!! I don't care. But I do understand how you feel. I was freaking miserable - on bed rest for nearly 7 months. Waddle waddle waddle.
I love how you went to Wal-Mart to blend.
HAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
i haven't exactly gone through what you're going through... but i can't believe how insensitive people can be! insinuating that you're huge and such. people are afraid of that which they do not understand. be strong sister, and feel empowered and blessed. only a little more to go and all of this will be worthwhile.
I think you are a beauty! I know the feeling that you have all too well. No one could assure me I was a pretty pregnant gal. SOmetimes you just want to be a pretty UN-pregnant gal. However, you do have the rest of your life for that. Hold tight!
I gained 60 pounds with Bella. Got most of it off and then gained 60 with Noah. The great thing about the body is that it works right off with nursing and all the other mommy duties, without you even trying. One of the many reasons I wish Noah was still nursing is so that I can continue losing weight without even trying. Try not to worry too much though. It is just nature...
And, I think I already mentioned this but you are extremely beautiful...
thank you everyone. i'm just so darn grumpy. stepherz, i really wish that nursing would get rid of my pounds. but i don't seem to lose the weight until AFTER i stop nursing. and so far, that's only been 6 total months in between pregnancies. my little body just needs a rest i think. ;-D