poop, poop, da doop
April 18, 2007 at 11:44 AM 
poop
da doop
if you can't stand a blog about poop, then you may just want to come back another day...
it all started off innocently enough. i was enjoying my breakfast upstairs, by myself; when my nose hair began to curl. from all the way downstairs, through a kitchen, and into the living room, a stench emerged. my gorgeous G was awake and she had DONE her business. seriously, how could something so foul come from something so sweet looking? it's no wonder that we've nicknamed her the destroying angel. all beautiful and heavenly looking, but within she can destroy all that is clean. yesterday i heard her crying from the sandbox and when i came up to her i found that her beautiful brunette tresses were nearly blonde, from sand. i have NEVER seen a kid so dirty from a little ole sandbox. when i took off her diaper to put her in the bath, there was a sand bikini still adamently in place. so dirty. i've never had such a messy baby until now.
our second poop item comes from the sweet joys of potty training. F is 3 1/2 and until last week he refused to do the whole toilet thing. the Docs have assured me that he'll do it in his own time; don't force him, don't punish him. but still i fear that i'll be handing a diaper bag over to his cute 16 year old Prom date and warning her that "he's due for a poop." but this week, something clicked and he's staying DRY. he never misses a chance to earn some "yummi beawws" and because he's all freaked out still by his own feces, the doc suggested that i allow him to put on a diaper just for that business. so we're getting into the groove, and i swear it's inspiration every time, but i KNOW just when to take him to the toilet. so today, i'm happily reading all of your wonderful blogs when he comes up with a diaper in hand, a USED diaper mind you, and points to a smudge saying, "da poop, wight thewe, da poop." he's completely naked. i have torn my house apart and i can not find the larger source of that smudge. umm, gross...umm, yuck...and HELP me!
and then there's the always charming E. yesterday i heard her SOBBING outside, sobbing like she'd just seen a dead kitten in the road, hysterical. i pop the window and ask what could possibly be so wrong? she chokes out, "the bag....to the chopsticks (read: side walk chalk) blew away!!!!!!" um, so go and get it? "no, it blew out into the street and blew awaaaaaaayyyyy!" and while i am one that PAYS money every year just to recycle, i compost all food scraps, and i conserve where possible...i'm thinking that i've got a WHOLE box of baggies just waiting to put some sidewalk chalk in it.
so happy crazy wednesday to you. and seriously, my next post will be all tender, no stench involved.
Reader Comments (9)
hey lady J, thanks for the post. I will look up that book, and try ANYTHING.
on the potty training front, my beans are all mostly trained by two, BUT, that required lots and lots of picking up the nasties. I have one of those little potties, (don't we all,) and I put it in the living room, where we are all hanging for crafties, snack, whatever - crank up the heat, or even better - do it in the summer, and watch em like a hawk. everytime you catch a glimmer of belly tightening yell :POTTY....and with in a day it CLICKS....
My big guy used to get a wicked kick out of peeing in the sand pail...we put a stop to that quick.
try it, it works!
Last week T pooped on the floor, when I asked her what happened, she looked at me with her BIG HUGE
MONSTEROUS BROWN eyes, and declared "I DON'T KNOW MOMMY...."
Like it was a ufo dropping shit off on the playroom floor, who knew...
best of luck, it is a trying - very trying day or two, but he will get it! and by the time he's sixteen, this will be but a distant memory...
hugs, A
aaahhh.... but I hate potty training!
I hope you find the rest of his smudge soon...
xoxo
haha., yep you gotta love your kids!! thats adorable! lol! i miss you!
Jenica,
My E did the same thing as your F a few months ago AT MY MOTHER IN LAW'S!!! I found the (substantial) turd in the diaper pail along with enough Wet Ones to wipe AIDS out of Africa.
So, check the trash and then keep it to show the prom date. :)
Well your little stinkers sure are cute!
Potty training is rough. Bella started going on the potty all by herself before she even turned two. I was all braggy braggy to all my friends. Then she suddenly stopped. I wasn't terribly hurt by that because she sooo loved going potty that everytime I went to Wal-Mart or various stores, she's always want to try out their potty. Well, that's fine. But after I'd line the seat with paper and carefully place her on it... Nothing. No pee, no poops. I'm sure I don't need to tell you how difficult it is to shop with a toddler and an infant by yourself, but add to that the potty trips that are unproductive too? I had Noah squirming in my chest pouch and Bella doing the whole potty dance-- ugh. I know I need to encourage her using public restrooms too, but, buuuuut. Potty training is rough.
thanks for all the potty training support! today ended up being the wettest, poopiest, shi-nastiest day on the planet. i swear i'm up to my elbows in yuck.
and stepherz i totally had to giggle about the whole public restroom thing. my E is pretty good about truthfully telling me about having to go while we're there. but those automated flushers freak her out. just imagine as a shopper trying to quietly do your thang when a child in the stall next to you emits the most terror inducing scream known to man, all because the toilet flushed beneath her. she's been known to hold it for HOURS because she refuses to do her business on a toilet with "an eye!" i've learned to try to cover "the eye" with toilet paper.
i'm glad we're not judged on our mothering abilities by how early our kids are PT, because i'm not sure it's ever going to happen for the boy. naked or not, he just doesn't give a crap... or rather he does, just in a corner. um yeah.
you are one sweet mama, let me tell you. i hearted your poop stories...we're all about the poop here. you had me laughing about the MIA poop. hope you find it (soon) :)
xoxo
Oh how I look forward to your posts!
Even the poop ones!
You write with such an awesome sense of humour!
One day you should print out this blog, have it bound so your kids will always have a heartwarming and hilarious record of their childhood!
Oh MAN this brings me back to the day when Sage poop trained... that was SO not fun.