sorry if this blog has bummed you out lately. i've been pretty down. sometimes it feels like everything and everyone in the universe is against me. just me. i want to be happy, i try to be happy, but left and right i get pulled into every drama imaginable. and when it started snowing last week, i hung my head and cried, bemoaning my fate. see, it's hard to go anywhere with little ones. but it's even harder when it's snowy. i get SAD every year around this time, but it's much worse with kids. it can take an hour to round up all of the socks, shoes, coats, hats, and gloves. and by the time everyone is dressed...someone has to go potty, and the baby has to eat again, and i'm pulling my hair out wondering how badly we really do need diapers. so i feed the baby, everyone goes potty, and i RE-dress the kiddles so that we can go out. and this little saga doesn't even address what occurs when the kids are sick...which winter brings as well. last year my kids got sick right after christmas and were sick CONSTANTLY until march. sick + kids = one mama with children adhered to body, typically adhered with snot.

however, this wasn't my point in posting today! things are starting to turn and i'm finding my inner joy again. i'm learning to set boundaries with my parents. and i'm beginning to seek happiness and let the anxiety roll off my back. of course it does help when you receive *magic* right in your mailbox! a lovely little mermaid knew just how much i needed a pick me up. my little rocks remind me that i am loved, that i am important, and that i can spread magic wherever i go. thank you lady of the night!

last night i was so brave (!) and we ventured out with this little lady and her troop (youll have to go and read her account of the eveing), and another friend and hubs. and even after the above described hell that going out can be, we were only 30 minutes late, and we actually had a LOT of fun. living in utah we have ample wintertime fun spots. we hit the lights at temple square last night. i remember it being so much bigger and brighter, but maybe it was just because i was so young and little the last time i went. i hope that it was as magical for my children as i remember it being for me. we can only imagine how demanding e will be of the camera on her wedding day. this picture with f was posed, and posed, and posed, and posed...smiling, flipping her hair, moving the boy to accommodate her desires.
they have a beautiful reflecting pond with glowing *bubbles*
here are the six of us in front of the salt lake temple. somehow we all managed to stay warm and mostly dry...despite the rain and dropping temps. i was so grateful for the extra hands that we had with us, because i was completely convinced that at least one of our children would get lost. but it wasn't all that busy because of the inclement weather, so our children never strayed too far. either that, or no one wanted our kids, which i wouldn't blame them for!

as we went to walk home we passed two 20's-something guys singing their hearts out on the corner. i couldn't help but smile at them. i thought to myself, "I remember wanting to sing for the thrill (and moolah) of singing!" i turned to e, who was shyly smiling and dodging eye-contact, and told her *i want you to remember this moment forever* she nodded in agreement. the whole adventure was beautiful, it was fun, it was virtually mishap free. i fell in love with my family... again. i'm so glad to be back!