tagged 
emotions, family, sunday scribblings
emotions, family, sunday scribblings walking the line
December 2, 2007 at 6:27 PM 
life has been full, fun, and fantastic...
at the same time it's been dark,
drudgerious (can this be my new word?), and draining.
it's hard to describe how opposing my emotions
and the circumstances have been.
i feel like i'm walking a tight-rope
between the good of the good
and the bad of the bad.
i'm walking a line between my two parents...
finding it hard to find loyalty on either side.
and may i say, that divorce is hard at any age.
even after two years the pain is still fresh
the wounds still deep,
the emotions throbbing beneath my skin.
as i've said before, i'm the nucleus to my family;
now i walk between them feeling split on each side.
tugged from here to there. unable to give advice.
unable to know what's *right* for all of us, or even just for me.
i walk another line, keeping all these things discreet,
whilst my heart is screaming out.
i walk between here and there,
silent among friends,
silent among family.
my mind running constantly, trying to solve the problems
that i shouldn't let bother me.
but they do,
because i secretly love my parents,
even when they upset me most.
or maybe they upset me most because i love them so,
and it hurts me to see them hurt.
this line i walk,
i walk alone.
for more *walking* scribblings
Reader Comments (13)
I like your take on the walking prompt, and is that a dutch oven in the background of your photo?
i am wondering why you chose a photo of the leftovers on the table,, as you describe to me your relationship with your parents.........
That's rough. I don't know the circumstances but I hope that things get easier.
I too wondered about the photo. And it sort of made me hungry. ;-)
haha. the picture is a representation of the good and bad in my life right now. should have explained that a little better.
the hubs and i were in charge of church christmas party and fed 300 people breakfast. it turned out perfectly but was SOOO stressful in planning. months of planning for two hours of enjoyment. walking the line between fun and stress. ;-D
I enjoyed the honesty, and was engaged by the dichotomy that resonated in the post.
All I can say is : I hear you.
I *HEART* JENICA!!!
xoxoxo
At least you've reached out and are holding hands with poetry. Sometimes it can help!
That's not a good feeling, for sure. There probably aren't any answers but time might help. Every now and then a couple of my family members get crossways and I do the same thing. Drives me nuts but eventually, things change - good luck with your walk...
I think this is the best post off that prompt that I read this week. You're walking a thin line. If anyone can keep their balance, though, it's you.
Ah, the balancing walk . . . beautiful writing even if it is about a sad subject. And I'm so glad to hear your party went well! :)
call me call me call me. we need to get your pictures to you. also, i felt to tell you about a book called "the unexpected legacy of divorce"-please read it. don't buy full price, look on amazon.
As the mom in a bitter divorce.... I'm sorry you are having to deal with that.
I left because of abuse when my daughter was 3 and have many times told her to do what she needs to do to feel safe, even if it meant we celebrated holidays days late.
You have just given me more confirmation that I am doing the right thing.
{hugs}
Dee
http://pavinganewroad.wordpress.com/