i normally include a cutesie form letter with our christmas cards each year. but this year... i just can't come up with anything to say. i've blogged about SO many seemingly insignificant but enjoyable things, it actually makes it harder for me to sum up the year because of this. in so many ways i feel like 2007 was actually *the year that jenica lost* i'm still signing 2006 on my checks. yes, i had another baby this year, and while it's changed so much of my life... there just isn't much to say about the change, other than it's all encompassing.

i don't think that anyone can prepare you for what motherhood entails. the sheer amount of messes, both bodily and kitchen, is more than most people can handle. and yet, as a good friend stated, motherhood can be so hard because your heart isn't even in your own body; it's running around in your four little ones. your heart is learning how to swing and read, to climb and jump, to cry and hurt all over again...times four!

through all of this i'm learning to feel the love of God in my life. i'm still learning about who i am and what makes me tick. the hubs and i are still learning about each other and growing and trusting as a couple. i'm learning how to be a daughter and a sister and a friend. i'm the co-CEO of the family... making decisions financially for the good of our family. motherhood is no simple task. it is NOT sitting on a couch and eating bon-bons while your house is miraculously clean and your children are unabashedly kind and SHARE with one another. it is WORK. it taxes the body, mind and spirit on every level. i've never felt so unprepared and inadequate in a calling or job.

and YET... aren't we all feeling this way??? isn't this just the description of every mother who is sincerely and earnestly trying to make life and home a peaceful place? i am no expert in motherhood. i am learning by trial and error every single day. i AM an expert in how NOT to potty-train, how NOT to get four children to go to sleep at the same time, and how there is NO firm works-every-time type for parenting. every family, every situation, and every child is different. i am just tremendously grateful for all of the friends (both new and old) that give me sweet support in my maddening efforts. i have found many dear friends in the past year through the process of mamahood.

so, i will try to update y'all on our year. but forgive me if i've forgotten something. my brain is sucked dry. and please also bare with me dear friends and family who have never visited the blog before, as i do not share any names other than my own, if you get confused email me your questions. ;-D

E--our darling and demanding *almost* six year oldwe tried out kindergarten for a little while but quickly found that school couldn't keep with her. she's just too darn smart. she enjoys learning at home and at daddy's work now. we have found mighty peace stemming from our decision to home educate. she is the greatest helper and loves to play with (and boss around) her siblings. every morning she makes MY bed all on her own. she's been taking dance again and loves practicing her leaps, running alllll the way across the room in order to leap just once before she crashes into the wall. it's been a year of dress up, artistry, cupcakes, haircuts, and organizing cupboards.

F--our bouncy jubilant boyhe's a typical four year old boy, obsessed with sp!derman and cars. he's always, always teasing and jumping. the boy has the greatest laugh; the kind that rumbles up from his belly, emanating from his body, and encircling you until you can't help to hold in your own giggles. this makes for difficulty in disciplining because everything is funny to him. he's gentle with little ones and loves to make his sisters happy (his future wife will have to thank his sisters for that one!). he's intuitive on so many levels... except he just can't seem to get when his mama's past her limit! he's learning very quickly and grasps things that i didn't think he even knew. like i caught him singing his ABC's perfectly, forgetting no letters; which surprised me because i never taught him the song! (chalk that up to the *year i lost* section of motherhood)

G-- our destroying angel she's learned to speak and to walk and to *sometimes* pee in a toilet. this was not a year that was lost to her, she's learned all of the basics on how to live her life this year! when she wants something she stands up and gets it. take for instance the fact the she didn't walk until she was 17 months old. one day, with NO practice warning, she stands up and walks 30 steps across the room turns and walks 30 steps back! everything she does now is, *I do it!* i've apparently never had a *real* temper-tantrum throwing, terrible, little two year old until now! but still, she brings so much joy into our house, because with the terrible comes the terrific. she is just so much fun. she's one that you have to experience to fully understand.

H--four months and countingwe're in quite a time-warp it seems. there are times when i look at her and can't believe that's it already been four months, and other times that i can't imagine that we all existed without her. her middle name, being joy, completely suits her; she's happy all the time. everybody loves her. we were so lucky to not deal with any jealousy issues. she's content in life; happy to just eat, puke, and be merry. it helps that she's so cute too!

the hubs-- he's been working his brains out this year; big surprise, i know. he's working like this so that i don't have to, and i feel ever so fortunate to have the opportunity. while i was busy baking a baby, he was busy planting a great first garden. he's written very little this year, but the notebooks have returned...which means that writing is on the forefront. the notebooks keep all of the little (and big) ideas, the research, and the chicken-scratch beginnings of books on every subject. i, for one, am very excited to see the *return of the notebooks.*

wow. after writing it out...it appears that we've had a pretty awesome and amazing year! ON TO THE NEXT!!! Merry Christmas!